DAMN YANKEES

THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A YANKEES BASEBALL GAME. THEY WERE FROM MINNESOTA AND HOPED TO FIND OUT WHY THE YANKEES ALWAYS BEAT THE TWINS IN THE PLAYOFFS. PERHAPS THERE WAS SOMETHING TO THE MOVIE "DAMN YANKES" THAT THE DEVIL SUPPORTED THE NEW YORKERS.GAME.

THREE YANKEES FANS WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND.... BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW,
THE MEN DECIDEDTO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA..
IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH ...
THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE.." THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA ... THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE..
"THE THIRD GUY SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO ..
THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE.." ONE OF THE NUNS TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,
"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL .. THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE.

Tuttie Frutti

It had been a long hot day at the Minnesota Landscape and Horticultural Garden. We had gone with Mrs. T's cousin Joe and spouse Mary. Afterwards a dinner was in order at a local restaurant.

We all ordered a drink. Mrs. T: "I'll have that Hawaiian Special (or something akin to that)." Troutbirder: Beer, Leinis Honey Weisse, please." And then the song came flooding back in memory. Lil Richard singing...."A-Wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop-bam-booTutti Frutti, all over rootie,.....A-wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop bam booI got a gal, named Sue, She knows just what to do. .....I've been to the east, I've been to the west, but she's the gal That I love the best.Tutti Frutti, all over rootie,....A-wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop bam boo."
Some days I just can't help myself but on this occasion I didn't hold Mrs. T to her promise to take her turn and drive us home from the Twin Cities. :) That adult beverage must have been at least a quart.

Kids & Grandkids

TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Charles, what happens to your body as you age?

CHARLES: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

TEACHER: Sally, how is dew formed?

SALLY: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

TEACHER: Bill, how can you delay milk turning sour?

BILLY: Keep it in the cow.

First Grandchild Ethan - Born Fargo North Dakota

Second Grandchild Tensae - Born

Ethiopia

Third Grandchild Leonard - Born Rwanda

Fourth Grandchild Vanessa - In process of adoption.

Infidel

"Ayaan Hirsi Ali was born in Somalia, was raised Muslim, and spent her childhood and young adulthood in Africa and Saudi Arabia. In 1992, she came to the Netherlands as a refugee, escaping a forced marriage to a distant cousin she had never met. She learned Dutch and worked as an interpreter in abortion clinics and shelter for battered women. After earning her college degree in political science, she worked for the Labor Party. She denounced Islam after the September 11 terrorist attacks and now fights for the rights of Muslim women, the enlightenment of Islam, and security in the West." (From her book Infidel)
From the books introduction: "one November morning in 2004, Theo van Gogh got up to go to work at his film production company in Amsterdam. He took out his old black bicycle and headed down a main road. Waiting in a doorway was a Moroccan man with a handgun and two butcher knives.
As Theo cycled down the Linnaeusstraat, Muhammad Bouyeri approached. He pulled out his gun and shot Theo several times. Theo fell off his bike and lurched across the road, then collapsed. Bouyeri followed. Theo begged, "Can’t we talk about this?" but Bouyeri shot him four more times. Then he took out one of his butcher knives and sawed into Theo’s throat. With the other knife, he stabbed a five-page letter onto Theo’s chest.
The letter was addressed to me."
I really disliked this book. I disliked what the author had to tell about her childhood and her experiences as a young woman in a Muslim world. And yet........ I’m glad I read it. I’m glad to know some important things about Islam, the culture it creates and its implications for the non Muslim part of the world. I have no idea how typical what is told in this book is of most Islamic cultures. I met an exchange student from Indonesia (the worlds largest Muslim country) and am reasonably sure the horror of what Ayaan Hirsi Ali experienced would not be typical there. It’s all very disturbing.
How well does anyone in the west understand both traditional and radical fundamentalist Islam, and all the things it does to people? Do we really understand female genital mutilation, beaten women, arranged marriages, the compuslive need to hide the feminine, and the complete loss of individual freedom? Americans still don't have a clue. This book makes a very real effort to explain a few things. It is painful, but important reading.

And then there is this. She now works for the American Enterprise Institute. A hotbed of neocon ideologues. There are many aspects to much of what is involved in her story. It might be a reason why it took me weeks to figure out what I wanted to say about this book......

In The Garden Of Beasts

In the Garden of Beasts is quite simply a great read. Written by popular historian Erik Larson it is the true and haunting story of a real American family trapped in a time and place of ultimate horror. It is also a vivid portrait of Berlin during the first years of Hitler’s reign. Chicago history professor William E. Dodd, who in 1933 became America’s first ambassador to Hitler’s regime, and his scandalously carefree daughter, Martha, along with his son and spouse are an odd fit among the extravagance and moral decadence of the Nazi elite. Dodd’s increasing concerns about Hitler’s ambitions are ignored by the State Department. His 24 year old daughter Martha, on the other hand, is hypnotized by the life style of a soon to be changed Berlin’s salon society. The rise of Nazi Germany is a oft told tale in history. For this reason, In the Garden of Beasts is simply amazing because it tells the story in a way that brings it all down to the level of the actions of real people acting in an unfamiliar situation. Each step along the way is such that we say to ourselves "oh my god someone must stop this before it’s too late."
Naive and diplomatically inexperienced, Ambassador Dodge eventually saw the darkness at the end of the road. The Nazi psychopaths had taken over a country, had begun killing people out of hand and the world did nothing.
Dodd mistakingly thought he could exercise a "moderating influence over Hitler and his government."
Martha was newly divorced from her first husband and out for a good time. This included a French diplomat, the head of the Gestapo and a Soviet spy... among others. This all amidst Jews and other "undesirables" being stripped of their livelihoods, property and basic civil rights. In one nightmarish mob scene, Martha and two male traveling companions witnessed the near-lynching of a woman who had a relationship with a Jewish man.
Hitler himself told Dodd that "If they (Jews) continue their activity, we shall make a complete end to all of them in this country." .
The Tiergarten was Berlins Central Park and zoo. The Dodds lived right adjacent to it. They took walks there. They admired the beautiful landscape. And met the animals who terrorized the world.

Henry II - Eleanor of Acquitaine - Thomas Becket

If you ever had the idea that history books (read textbooks & big thick tomes with lots of obtuse words and tons of footnotes) are invariably dull.... think again. Many of today’s great history writers, be they professional historians or amateurs write really good stuff. As in fun to read. When they pack it into an exciting story like narative you really can’t go wrong. In my view they are two versions of this trend. History and historical fiction.
Lets start with straight history and biography. This is nonfiction based on accurate and well researched background material. The best ones tell a true story and bring it alive. Think of authors like Steven Ambrose, David McCullough, William Manchester, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Shelby Foote and many others.
The other equally exciting development is the vast improvement in historical fiction writing. Here the authors knowledge of the subject combined with excellent writing/storytelling technique will surely get your attention. As long as the line between fiction and nonfiction is clear, I really don’t believe it to be a bad thing if that line narrows. That is IF the writing is honest and well done and IF it draws more interest in history from the general public.
There are more and more writers of historical fiction who are doing really great things. One of my favorites is Sharon Kay Penman. Her Eleanor of Aquitaine series is a good example of an ability to draw you into another time and place. In When Christ and His Saints Slept, Time and Chance and Devils Brood she brings the early medieval period alive as no one else ever has. In Time and Chance we learn of the tempestuous marriage of Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II in a magnificent story of love, power, ambition-and betrayal.

The book is wonderful telling of real history played out by real people where we can see: how issues of the separation of church and state bedeviled Henry II and his friend and counselor Thomas Becket upon the laters appointment as Archbishop of Canterbury. The degree to which the King might have been culpable in Beckets murder.

The reasons why Henry and Eleanor's marriage drifted apart. The reasons why Henry and Eleanor were well-intended but ineffective parents. "Reality TV" pales into insignificance with books like this.......

Fire Season

"I was expected to sit still and watch mountains and long for company and something to do, like playing cribbage, I suppose. I was going to have to watch mountains for sure that was my job, but I would not be without company. I already knew that mountains live and move." -Norman Maclean, "USFS 1919

Many other famous American writers and poets, going back to Henry David Thoreau, Leopold, Dillard & my favorite Sigurd Olson have spent time in fire watch towers or others wilderness venues. Thus I was anxious to read Fire Season Field Notes From A Wilderness Lookout by Philip Connors.

Combination memoir, essay & history, written from the experience of eight summers in the Gila wilderness of New Mexico, it draws us into a place of solitude, fire & nature. Connors left an office cubical job with The Wall Street Journal to spend a summer in the wild. How fortunate very for us that he did. I think this book could well be considered a classic someday. As regular readers of my Troutbirder nature blog might suspect, while basically not an antisocial person, I often have an innate impulse toward solitary moments on the trout stream, in my dreams and hiking forest trails with my GSD Baron. Books about these kinds of experiences naturally appeal to me.

No Shortage Of Good Days

I think I’ve read all of author John Gierach’s previous books including among other Trout Bum, At the Grave of the Unknown Fisherman and Standing in a River Waving a Stick. They make me laugh. They remind me of my own idiosyncracies. I couldn’t pass up his latest which appeared last week at out public library. It’s titled No Shortage of Good Days.
With a title taken from an Annie Dillard quote ("There is no shortage of good days; it’s good lives that are hard to come by"), the book is a collection of fondly remembered fishing trips and random fishing-related topics, along with miscellaneous other narrative odds and ends thrown in the mix. Gierach has for years set the standard for down home wit and wisdom in the genre of fly fishing "literature."

The Last Full Measure by Richard Moe

The Last Full Measure - The Life and Death Of The first Minnesota Volunteers

"As the first troops offered to President Abraham Lincoln after the fall of Fort Sumter, the brave men of the First Minnesota Volunteer Infantry Regiment fought in virtually every major battle of the eastern theater during the first three years of the Civil War. From Bull Run to Antietam to Fredericksburg to their famed suicide charge at Gettysburg, these stalwart soldiers defended the Union and helped change the course of the war and their country's history." (from the book jacket)
The brand new state of Minnesota sent 11 regiments into the firestorm to defend the nation against the insurrectionists and traitors. The First Minnesota was the only one to travel east and fight with the Army of the Potomac. The other ten fought and made their mark in the West.
My state had grown twenty fold from ten thousand to two hundred thousand in the 50's. It was then on the far end of what was called the Northwest Frontier. The rallying point for the regiment was at Fort Snelling, situated at the confluence of the Mississippi and Minnesota rivers. From here they traveled by steamboat down the Mississippi, picking up more volunteer militia companies at towns like Red Wing, Lake City, Wabasha and Winona. They disembarked at the rail terminuses of LaCrosse and Prairie Du Chen Wisconsin. Here at the end of the line (there were no bridges yet across the Great River) they embarked for Washington D.C. The route east was filled with thousands of people, all along the way, who cheered them on and provided treats.
They were young, naive and no doubt filled with the thought of a great adventure as well as of duty.
Their story drawn from personal letters, diaries and recollections is told by author Richard Moe.It is the real Civil War told from the ground up. That’s what makes this book very special. And brings it to life. We meet the men up close and personal. They fit into the grand pattern of events and circumstance but the focus always remains on who they were, what they did from day to day and most important what they were thinking. It all makes for wonderful reading.
The lasting fame of this particular group of heroes came at the tide turning Battle of Gettysburg.
Arriving on the battlefield after the first days battle, on July 1st, the Minnesotans were placed on Cemetery Ridge as part of the strong defensive alignment set by General Winfield Scott Hancock. Unfortunately, the adjacent III Corps was then ineptly moved forward by political General Dan Sickles, leaving a large gap in the Union lines. It was through this gap that Confederate general Longstreets forces attacked, threatening the whole position. General Hancock seeing disaster in the making quickly ordered some of his II Corps to move a quarter of a mile to the left but they were some minutes away. The first to arrive on the scene, overlooking the valley and the Peach Orchard below were 262 Minnesotans. They could see Longstreets forces overwhelming Sickles III Corps and pour thru the gap. Should they reach the ridge, the Union army would be split in half and the balance of the war would be at issue. Hancock, who was on the scene needed but a few minutes for the reserves to fill the gap. To gain those minutes he ordered the First Minnesota to charge the two brigades, over a thousand men strong, of Confederate Generals Wilcox and Barksdale. They did and at the cost of their lives stopped the attack long enough to save the day.

I also found the attitude of these men on the issue of slavery most interesting. Duty, honor and country seemed to be their concern. They were more curious than anything else about blacks. It was not a defining issue for them. As the "contrabands" poured into their lines they clearly were appaled at the condition of these "niggers". They had never seen anyone looking this miserable back in Minnesota. Battles too were hardening their attitudes toward the "seccesh" and opening them to the notion that these "slaves" had a humanity which did not deserve the treatment the had been living under.

It has been somewhat fashionable in certain circles of late to deny that the practice of human bondage was the root cause of this tragic war. That other factors were equally or even more important. That the slave owning class were really early Reaganites defending human liberty in the cause of "less government is better for everyone and everything." This is delusionary at best and a deliberate lie in fact. I rate it on the same level with the "holocaust deniers" who like to portray WWII as a well meaning effort to defend against Godless communism.

Gettysburg was the last battle for the First Minnesota as only a handful returned unscathed. They knew what they were doing. Why they did it makes this book well worth reading. I highly recommend it.