Troutbirder

Troutbirder
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Saturday, July 30, 2011

DAMN YANKEES

THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A YANKEES BASEBALL GAME. THEY WERE FROM MINNESOTA AND HOPED TO FIND OUT WHY THE YANKEES ALWAYS BEAT THE TWINS IN THE PLAYOFFS. PERHAPS THERE WAS SOMETHING TO THE MOVIE "DAMN YANKES" THAT THE DEVIL SUPPORTED THE NEW YORKERS.GAME.

THREE YANKEES FANS WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND.... BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW,
THE MEN DECIDEDTO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA..
IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH ...
THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE.." THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA ... THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE..
"THE THIRD GUY SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO ..
THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE.." ONE OF THE NUNS TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,
"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL .. THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Tuttie Frutti

It had been a long hot day at the Minnesota Landscape and Horticultural Garden. We had gone with Mrs. T's cousin Joe and spouse Mary. Afterwards a dinner was in order at a local restaurant.

We all ordered a drink. Mrs. T: "I'll have that Hawaiian Special (or something akin to that)." Troutbirder: Beer, Leinis Honey Weisse, please." And then the song came flooding back in memory. Lil Richard singing...."A-Wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop-bam-booTutti Frutti, all over rootie,.....A-wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop bam booI got a gal, named Sue, She knows just what to do. .....I've been to the east, I've been to the west, but she's the gal That I love the best.Tutti Frutti, all over rootie,....A-wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop bam boo."
Some days I just can't help myself but on this occasion I didn't hold Mrs. T to her promise to take her turn and drive us home from the Twin Cities. :) That adult beverage must have been at least a quart.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Greater Journey - Americans In Paris

The weather here in Bluff Country has been quite uncomfortable for days. With temperatures in the nineties and humidity to match, outdoor activities have been mostly cancelled. Thus I've been mowing, gardening hiking and biking at the crack of dawn. By ten o’clock..... forget it. Therefore I’ve slipped into my "winter" mode. What that means is lots of arm chair sitting, bird feeder watching and reading. Yesterday was typical. After washing the truck, I headed into town on a mission. The mission was to come up with an alternative to my plans for some homemade split pea soup. You see I love it and Mrs T hates it due to some youthful oversupply of the stuff at the boarding school she attended. The alternative came in the form of a package of "Fifteen Dried Beans" I found on the shelf. The frozen ham bone I had carefully saved from Easter in the freezer would finally be put to use. Ham and bean soup would soon be on the menu. And many days afterwards as I always make big batches....
Soup is not only good food it’s a winter mainstay when those Minnesota blizzards arrive. So if one is trapped inside by inclement weather.... say really hot and muggy, who’s to say?
Now to the reading part. Mr McCullough has done it again. Two Pulitzer prizes ( for John Adams and Truman) along with numerous other award winning best sellers apparently weren’t enough. Now we have The Greater Journey: Americans In Paris. The theme of this book might be summed up the authors statement that "not all pioneers went West." These were the adventurous American artists, writers, doctors, politicians architects and others who set off for paris in the years between 1830 and 1900, ambitious to excel in their work. Most had never left home, never experience a different culture. That they achieved so much for themselves and their country profoundly altered American history.
They included (just to name drop a little) :
Oliver Wendel Holmes - Doctor, Poet.
Charles Sumner - Abolitionist, Senator
James Fenimore Cooper - Author
Samuel F.B. Morse - Painter, Inventor
Emma Willard - Educator, Author
Nathaniel Hawthorne - Author
Elizabeth Blackwell - 1st female Doctor
Ralph Waldo Emerson - Author
Louis Gottschalt - Pianist
George Healy - Portraitist
Mark Twain - Author
Henry James - Author
Harriet Beecher Stowe - Author
Elihu Washburne - Ambassador
August Saint Gaudens - Sculptor
Mary Cassel - Painter
John Singer Sarget - Painter
Over one hundred years later America has another gifted artist. Historian/biographer David McCullough. He knows how to tell a really good story.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Kids & Grandkids

TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Charles, what happens to your body as you age?



CHARLES: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

TEACHER: Sally, how is dew formed?

SALLY: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

TEACHER: Bill, how can you delay milk turning sour?

BILLY: Keep it in the cow.


First Grandchild Ethan - Born Fargo North Dakota




Second Grandchild Tensae - Born

Ethiopia




















Third Grandchild Leonard - Born Rwanda



Fourth Grandchild Vanessa - In process of adoption.